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It's been about two weeks since we moved in and a week since I've had an internet connection. I thought once we had a home and established some sort of routine, our lives would be back to normal. The honeymoon phase of newness has worn off and divorced me today as I faced a reality I didn't want to.

I jump out of my skin when I hear a low rumble. I have to calm myself every time there's a little rain. Little things like spiders no longer scare me but I now fear stupid little things such as too much weather information. I'm sad because I think about  personal momentos or sentimental values then have to remember that I don't have them anymore. Sometimes I scroll down too much on my blog only to find my tornado pictures that I can't seem to scroll by without staring and squinting to see what I can find through the digital rubble. I try to remind myself that my family is alive: it's all that matters. But I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of loss and the same flight response my body felt on that day. 

Work is another issue. I have over a month and a half to catch up on in addition to the projects I had going on in February. I had to do today what I never thought I would do in my career: let a few clients go. I enjoy being a freelancer but not at the expense of others. 

The point of this post is: Please be patience with me. There is a lot of trauma I didn't realize was there and a lot of client work I grossly underestimated. Please don't feel that I'm "snubbing" you.

People have been really amazing to me and I thank you all. 

Tia Wood